Being a small business owner as well as having a continual desire to better myself and save money where possible, I have been forced to acquire some diverse skills.

For years, in the past, by choice, I had no personal life and I worked 100 to 120 hour weeks. Here is a partial list of some of the tasks I performed and skills I've worked on learning. I hope those long work weeks are a part of my past, but if need be, and I were so inclined, I could do it all over again. One thing I don't mentioned here is that I enjoy helping others and sharing the knowledge I have acquired with someone worthy.

You have to read all of what is said here to remotely begin to appreciate who I am and what I am capable of. My ambition has waned as I have been constantly lonely since I allowed myself to explore my sexuality back in 1997 until which time I was a total virgin.

I have never had a boy friend, a girl friend, a lover or even a steady date. I've never held someone in my arms and watched a movie. It was painful to open Pandora's Box only to find it empty. Try as I might I have been unable to close it again.

Despite years of personal ads I have never had one serious reply. I do get an endless stream of messages from people wanting to play their sick little demented games. I take every message I receive seriously and personally reply to each one. Generally speaking if it's a guy writing I will never hear from him again. The girls that write are generally very sweet and caring, it makes me wish I were straight or bi, but I am what I am.

When I write someone on a personals site I almost never get a reply and those that do are just being polite or 'doing me a favor' by writing back, most just ignore me like I am unworthy of their precious time.

It's amazing when I get 'My Matches' from a personals site, there is almost never anyone I would even turn to look at on the street. That of course does not make them a bad person, but if you are looking for love, it certainly makes sense to look for someone you like to look at.

My last date with potential for romance was in 1999 and with my luck I see absolutely no hope of that ever changing as I have known nothing but failure after failure after failure ever since. The last time I saw a full erection on another longhair was in 2000. The last time I had any form of intimacy was in 2001. I've has sex so few times and only done just a few things and the last time was oh so very long ago, for all intents and purposes I am almost a virgin again.

Many people tell me that if I want a boy friend I need to get a hair cut and conform to the gay standards. I'd sooner be dead as losing my individuality would be the same as killing me.

I have never fucked anyone emotionally, financially or sexually... How many adult males can say that? Not too many I'd guess. I am proud of the first two, but wonder what the sexual feeling would be like. Considering I have not had that experience in any of my life up to now, it seems unlikely I ever will. If they don't answer my E-Mails or even make eye contact, it's not too likely they want to sleep with me either and I would never wish for anyone to ever do anything they did not want to do.

The pain of loneliness continues and grows with no one interested in getting to know me romantically. You would think I am some ugly, selfish, pathetic loser lacking employment, honor, skills or a sense of humor, yet there is nothing further from the truth as by all accounts I am a great catch.

After you read all of this you will probably think I am full of shit. But so be it, as we live in a world incapable of facing the truth. If anything I have undersold myself here as arrogance is a trait I do not care for.

I am not sharing this page expecting anyone to contact me, as more than likely it will scare most of you, but so be it, it's all true and I never hide from the truth. If you wish to reach me, you may do so through this form.

I should add that by no means do I say it is all bad as I have made some wonderful female and male friends. Such friends are great to have and I love, respect and appreciate them truly. What they are not is my lover and they are not here to have someone to share a dinner I cooked, to watch a movie, to go shopping with or just to have a nice face to face conversation with.

Despite all of this I am not a miserable person. I do not bury or hide from my pain in drugs or alcohol. The loneliness does cause a great deal of pain, I do not deny that. Few others are as isolated as I am, so perhaps it may be difficult to understand. I always do my best to entertain others and spread good cheer and hope as I believe there is hope for most.

I wish each of you nothing but the very best and hope you are able to enjoy what I have never been able find, someone with whom you can share mutual respect , sexual attraction and love. Loneliness seems to be the price I pay for being such a unique and diverse person with true individuality and conviction to principals who is always looking for education and enlightenment.

Lastly I wish to add that by no means do I make any claims that I am among the best at any skill I mention. The largest room in the world is the room for improvement. Perhaps I have allowed my unbearable loneliness to hamper my desire to improve.